REAL TALK was inspired by women asking us important life questions both online and in person.Everything is real for us and sometimes things that may seem so small can be things we aren’t sure how to handle. All about MOM is a conduit – we have access to all sorts of experts who are eager to answer things for us – so please, ask away!
We’ll be sure to get back to you on all questions with any relevant links or contacts that may be helpful.
I have been such a people pleaser my whole life and I'm exhausted from it. It's a habit I want to break. How?
I love that you refer to it as a habit - behavior certainly is learned and becomes habit. This way of being, I'm sure, worked for you for a while - and now it's not anymore. It's not abnormal to be trying to please people as a mom and partner and worker - all rolled into one person. Sometimes it just feels easier to do things that way. It really does take a toll on your 'person' though. and soon you forget what your own opinions actually are.
Often time simple. small steps that don't feel overwhelming to do when you're doing them and, over time, they actually make a difference. Remember these things: you can answer any thing either yes, no, or maybe. Write those down on a sticky and carry it with you so you remember. When you kneejerk into an immediate yes, say maybe instead. Or just say no and see how it feels. Tell yourself you'll do that at least once today and take it from there.
When you create boundaries for your own self to follow, suddenly things become easier and more clear.
Remember: yes, no, MAYBE.